I have had mixed feelings about posting on this blog during a pandemic.  I no longer post regularly, so I wasn’t sure what would be appropriate.  I have done some personal writing as I often do to process events and clarify emotions, but nothing I would post online at this point.  Writing is important to me, but I think I will always remain shy about it — posted publicly or not.

I did appreciate Doug Peterson’s approach and nudge in his post, 10 Things I’ve learned.  Soon into this alarming COVID-19 situation, I said to my family, “We will probably learn a lot about ourselves and others, and the world.”  But then, this is all new territory to navigate and our emotions and behaviours will be confusing.  I shared a quote on Facebook recently (via @thereisgoodinstore) that resonated,

There is no right way to feel right now.”

I am trying to take one day at a time, one feeling at a time, and trying to reserve judgement of others in their own struggles.  The focus is often in the short term, as with many emergencies.  I still have moments that I wonder what we will learn about the virus, our communities, and our world.  Will we learn more compared to past pandemics?  What will change?  Will there be a lasting imprint?  Yet, preoccupation with my own life and health quickly takes over, as well as worry about family members.  This pandemic has overshadowed everything.

There will definitely be much learning.  There will also be mistakes — mistakes made because of fear and also out of love for our family.  This is only human, I believe.

I have been finding comfort in music a lot lately.  The title of this post is taken from the title of my first post to this blog, Here I Am.  I didn’t give proper mention/credit of that title at the time — it is also a title of a Melanie song.  The lyrics came to mind and really hit me this time:

Here I am, standin’ still
Knowin’ I’m not goin’ nowhere today
And maybe not tomorrow
No no, maybe not tomorrow
Maybe not tomorrow
But that’s okay …

Here I am, dear I am, standing still
With a lot of time to make a rhyme
And a lot of time to kill …

If you want to hear her sing the whole song:

 

Take care, everyone!

 

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